Greetings and thank you for traveling along this journey with me! This blog is brought to you by the letter E. The E stands for Engagement. In this blog we'll discuss what engagement is, and why it's important enough to be included in the formula.

The definition of engagement

The word “Engaged” has several definitions. One definition is busy; occupied. Another definition is: having formally agreed to marry. To me, this means that with engagement, commitment is present. If someone asks someone to do something and can’t do it, they are engaged in what they are doing. In other words, they are committed to their current mission and can’t be pulled away from it because they are dedicated to the task at hand. 

If a single person asks another single person out on a date, it's alright. All is fair. They are both single, so the other person can say yes, or that person can say no. However, if that person is engaged, they should say no to the date request because they are in a committed relationship and should take their commitment seriously.  

Similarly, being engaged in a conversation means that the participants in the discussion are committed. They are committed to the communicative exchange of thoughts, opinions, and ideals. A person who is engaged is committed. It doesn’t necessarily mean that they have to agree. It means that the person is present. An engaged person is aware of their surroundings and the people in that environment. An engaged person uses everything they have and puts it into the thing that they are doing. In the book, I reveal the various aspects of engagement throughout

history and around the world. In this blog, we’ll discuss how we can employ it and improve the quality of our lives.

Engagement means existing in the presence of those around you

Rene Descartes was a French philosopher, mathematician, and scientist. Descartes is widely known for the phrase “Cogito ergo sum, " which translates into English as “I think. Therefore I am.” There are many interpretations of this phrase, but my understanding is: I think; therefore, I exist. Similarly, this reminds me of what engagement feels like. For example, if we live in the past, we will probably be sad and depressed. If we live in the future, we might be anxious and nervous. However, if we live in the present, truly live in the present, we will be more likely to live in peace. If we live in the present, we are more likely to be engaged in the here and now. 

Engagement means letting go of the past

If we continuously think about the past, we may revisit some things that have already occurred. We might think about the things that we could have done if we only had the chance to re-live it again. We might think about someone who has passed away, regrets, missed opportunities, and things we wished we had said or done. We can ‘shoulda, woulda, coulda’ all day long, but this might cause us to be depressed. These emotions may make us feel like we could have done better. These thoughts might cause us to feel regret. Re-living past negative events increases negativity and decreases our positive outlook on life. The more we revisit hurtful experiences and troubled times, the more we solidify the event, and create a depressive state in our mind. When that happens, it makes it more difficult to believe that things will get better. We get stuck in the negative cycle, and before we know it, we are telling ourselves that we deserve it and will never get it right. We must push past those irreversible things we can’t change and live in the here and now.  The past is over. Don’t punish yourself. Given the circumstances, you did what you did and what you had to do.  

Engagement means stop grasping for the future

We will be nervous and frustrated if we continuously think in the future. Nervousness and frustration brings anxiety. In this way, we will always be anxiously anticipating and thinking about what will happen in the hours, days, and weeks (maybe even years) to come. We may worry about how we will handle the next situation. Worrying creates more worrying. I once heard that worrying is the misuse of imagination and mere speculation. In other words, worrying is the engine that starts the negative thinking machine. When this machine gets started in their minds, their negative past will dictate their negative future. If our minds are in the future, we will miss some things because we won’t be here and now.

To be engaged means to love

We will be present if we are always in the here and now. If we are always in the here and now, we will pay attention to those around us. If I’m showing love, affection, and kindness to those around me now, I’ll be here in the present. The present is where we are and where our hearts and minds should be. Where is your mind, and what is your mind thinking about right now?  If you asked your loved ones, friends, and acquaintances where your mind is, what would they say? Have you ever been looking at an electronic device while someone is trying to talk to you? If you are unsure, if you have ever said, “Keep talking, I can multitask!,” while nodding your head, you’re probably guilty as charged. If people see your forehead or the back of your head more than your eyes, you’re probably guilty as well. If you are a daughter, are you a daughter who lives, loves, and lets your parents know that you listen to them? If you are a brother, are you a brother who lets his brothers and sisters know you are listening when they speak to you? If you are a wife, does your husband know that you are proud of his thoughts and that you care enough to listen to him wholeheartedly? If you are a husband, does your wife know that you are present and listening to her when she is talking to you? If you are a husband, a wife, or a parent, do you stop whatever you are doing to listen to those who care enough to talk with you? When you are at home, are you so connected to electronics that you are disconnected from the people around you? When you are at work, do you look at your phone and send a text during a conversation or type an email when someone comes to your work area to talk with you? Do you make the other person feel like they are the most important person in the world? The honest answers to these questions will let you know if you practice engagement daily. The answers will reveal if you are engaged.

After reading through these questions, some people might say: “I don’t have time for this. This sounds good in books, but it doesn’t work in reality- in the real world. I’ve tried, but I get busy. Do you know how hard this is to do when you’re busy?!”

Martin Luther King said, “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” If you look for sad memories showered with despair, you will find them. If you forage for things to worry about, you will find what you are looking for. You can also worry so much that you can transform your anxious thoughts into anxiety and fear. However, if you search for positivity with fervor and determination, live your life with confidence, and treat others with dignity and respect, even in troubled times, you will find positivity in everything and everyone. Your despair will turn into joy, your hate will turn into love, your anger will turn into kindness, and your anxiety will turn into peace. We are more likely to feel peace of mind if we are present. 

As I researched this topic, I wondered if I find an example of engagement in the Bible. After a few days of reading, I found a lesson from engagement from Jesus Christ, the epitome of engagement. The apostle Mark tells us in the scripture that Jesus was engaged not only with people but his surroundings regardless of the distractions in his environment. One day, Jesus was traveling amid a large crowd. A woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years. She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better, she grew worse. When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak because she thought, “If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed.” Immediately her bleeding stopped, and she felt free from her suffering. At once, Jesus realized that power had gone out from him. That was because He was engaged with people and His surroundings. He turned to the crowd and asked, “Who touched my clothes?” “You see the people crowding against you,” his disciples answered, “And yet you can ask, ‘Who touched me?’” But Jesus committed to His engagement in His surroundings and kept looking around to see who had done it. Then the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell at his feet and, trembling with fear, told him the whole truth. He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.” 

Jesus was not only engaged but committed. When no one else knew who touched him and figured that finding them would be impossible, Jesus knew that someone had done it. Moreover, he was committed to figuring out who did. How did He know? He did because He was absolutely engaged with the people in His surroundings and wasn’t moved by the chaos around him. 

As you might agree, engagement is the cornerstone for all of the ingredients in the formula. Whether you agree or disagree, please share your thoughts with me. I'd love to hear them. Perhaps, I could incorporate you and your thoughts into this blog.

Thank you for joining me and supporting me by reading this blog.

Until we meet again- please take care, be safe, and be well.

Sincerest regards,

Lionel